Wayne's Adventure (In Motion)

I was about halfway through my beautiful 15 mile midsection beauty walk when I noticed a plume of smoke directly ahead in the distance.

Being the eternal optimist (yeah, right) perhaps it was a family having a Father’s Day barbecue ( Engage YOGI fantasies ). Over the next couple of hours the plume became a column, then a cloud, then a cloud bank, then filling this sky completely ahead of me with smoke.

Since I was walking directly at it, I found this to be concerning. Also, concerning was the wind was blowing hard directly into my face. And the fact that I was standing waist high in 100 mi.² of dry brush and tinder, with no means of escape, provided a a slight pause.

So with no phone or Internet access, I use my satellite messenger to text my ground control team. “Hey, I’m at this location. What the hell am I walking into?“

They diligently scoured the Internet and found that a lightning strike had created a small fire the night before, but it was only about 30 acres and contained.

Well, what I was seeing was not 30 acres and no wildfire on the planet is contained and the howling wind I was feeling in my face.

My team sent me regular updates, it’s bigger. It’s bigger. It’s bigger. But you’re okay. They diligently called the forest service and yes, there was a fire, but it was to the west enough they would not be closing the trail.

Hey, if you can’t trust your government, who can you trust…?

In all fairness, this was the Z line alternative. I considered taking the Z where it joins the red line two days ago, but rejected it due to the water shortage. 

Since I was now on the redline, the CDT mainline, I was technically not in any immediate danger ( or so I was told ) but coughing my way through smoke clouds was not reassuring. As previously stated, I think I’m allergic to everything in the desert. And smoking it was not doing my nose or sinuses any favors.

When I was 4 miles from Grants NM, wondering if foot amputation was covered by my insurance, a World War II looking truck pulls up in front of me. A forest service hotshot crew truck.

In back were some of the hikers evacuated off the Z line. They got caught and pinned by the fire on an 8 mile black lava field. Think 125+ degree heat no water or shade. They looked as bad as I have ever seen people look and I’m talking thru- hiker standards here.

A young, very earnest looking, Forrest Service Employee climbed down and asked my CDT registration number. He consulted his clipboard and inquired “Mr. Waystarr?” Yup. “Sir, would you like a ride into Grants?, We have ice water?” ( said in the tone of voice you use to lure a puppy into the vet’s office).

My entire body ( especially my feet ) screamed “YES!!!” But my hiker conscience had to be the asshole. You don’t skip miles.

“Young man, are you ordering me into the truck? I have only 5 miles to complete this segment”, I inquired.

“Oh no sir”, he replied “You are not in immediate danger and I have no authority to do so. I’m just asking as a courtesy.”

“Um… will you please order me into the truck?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Waystarr, I don’t understand.”

“Ok kid, I’m asking you as a personal favor, please, please , please, order me to get into the truck.”

Long Pause… Eventually a light comes on.

“Mr. Waystarr, on behalf of the US Forrest Service and the United States Government, I am ordering you to get into the truck for your own safety.”

I shook his hand and climbed in. I will argue with my conscience about the 5 skipped miles later. The ice water was excellent.

Editors Note: The Fire was over 1,000 plus acres and growing, uncontained, last I checked.