Wayne's Adventure (In Motion)

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So, after my utter and complete meltdown via Billy Joel and Twyla Davis, I decided to use one of my favorite philosophies: NEVER EVER WASTE A TERRIBLE DAY !!!. When a day sucks do all the things you hate because the day won’t get any worse. Bad day? Perfect time to scrub the hard water stains off the toilet, schedule that colonoscopy, get in a hard gym workout, eat healthy food you hate, apologize to someone, go to the dentist etc.  At that moment, maximizing my terrible day meant extending my already long hiking day and tackling the monster mountain that is Jacks Peak.   At night. In gale force winds. On absolutely razor thin terrible trail. Yeah I’m feelin it.  Grief into anger is an easy transition to make when you’re  in the mindset.  And I was.  Grief accomplishes nothing.  Anger can move mountains.  Or up them. So I spent the last moments of daylight charging up that craggy bastard like it owed me money.  The winds constantly tried to blow me off the mountain, but that just fueled my rage.  Against whom ?  Life?  Unfairness?  Pain?  “What are you rebelling against Marlon?  What do you got ?”  Ready to take on all comers, I stood shakily on the peak of the highest mountain in 80 miles, under a full moon, sky full of stars and howling wind and screamed the names of my friends who lost their lives WAY too early: Twyla, Alan, Renee, Deepak.  I shook my trekking poles and screamed:  “I demand an accounting.  I demand a challenge.  I AM RIGHT HERE.  Come fight me YOU ASSHOLES !!!!  I am ready!!!  I’m slandering and calling out the ultimate powers from their highest pulpit.   I raged and howled and screamed…. And that’s when the wind stopped.  Like a switch suddenly thrown.  And I was left a madman, alone, under a inattentive moon and a cold, uncaring sky full of stars.  Screaming my pain to the cosmos.    

Maybe I was heard.  Maybe not.  But nothing changed.  My friends are still gone and I grieve for them every day.