Wayne's Adventure (In Motion)

Lordsburg NM, May 5, 2024

When you stumble into a town after a week alone in the desert, looking like someone took Santa, completely dehydrated him and then fried him extra crispy; any thru-hiker wants the same things. 

First a shower.  When you hit the motel, you undress in the shower, leaving your clothes in with you.  Let the water that washes you also wash the acres of sand, dirt and blood out of you clothes.  It’s like stomping around in a mud pit.  It should be faster, but you find yourself drinking directly from the shower head, like a water bottle in a hamster cage.  So the clothes don’t get the flow they deserve.  Takes an hour for solid mud not to be going down the drain.

 Then you start pulling the tape job off each foot.  Between the blisters, raw spots and blown toenails, you have a daily tape job on each foot that would make a Prima at the Bolshoi Ballet proud.

 The shower exhausts you so much you need a post-shower nap.  Three hours of sleep in a bed is worth 36 hours sleep in the dirt in the desert under the stars.  Trust me.

Then food.  Thru hiking puts such stress on your body, your appetite completely changes.  A confirmed choca-holic, I suddenly find it completely nauseating.  I love Coke, yet standing in front of the fountain machine at the local McDonalds, I fill and drink over 64 ounces of Orange Fanta while standing at the dispenser. No ice.  Ice is for the weak.  A small child approaches desiring a refill of his Dr. Pepper.  Solid eye contact and a deep growl sends him scurrying back to his table in tears.  Cubs can drink when the Lion is finished.

And the bitch of it all is, tomorrow I head back into the desert again…