Wayne's Adventure (In Motion)

Chihuahuan Desert.  May 4, 2024

There is a history of people going alone into the desert for enlightenment.  The hunger, thirst, privation, wind, sunburn, constant severe discomfort and the utter knowledge that you are completely alone out here breaks you down mentally and physically at an astonishing rate.    It is an Ascetics wet dream.  You are trapped in your head as you put one foot in front of the other over and over again over some of the worst terrain on the planet.  But as they say, “When you are going thru Hell, for God’s sake keep going.”

The suffering is matched only by the savage beauty.  Every direction has curve of the Earth views of mountains, plains, and colors unmatched anywhere on Earth.  Want to get away from it all?  Here is your place.  Cactus flowers abound.  Colors everywhere.  Life seems to be thriving.  Just not human life.

My physical transformation, even this early, is stunning.  Starvation and Dehydration makes you stupid.  Life threatening GPS navigation mistakes become common.   I have to concentrate to perform the simplest tasks.  At night, I lay on my blanket in the sand having such interesting thoughts as “I don’t think I pee’d today” and “How long can you go without moving your bowels before you actually die?”  While I have enough water for basic sustenance, the constant dry, howling wind dries you out like beef jerky.  Nosebleeds are constant.  Mouth becomes an open wound.  My lips burn, scab and flake off.  My body begins breaking down so quickly.

[ Editor’s Note:  Wayne’s Body wishes to directly respond to these allegations:  “Hey Now!  I WAS NOT the jerkwad who decided to go out wandering for 820 miles in the friggin desert. That’s all on Wayne’s Brain.   I was perfectly happy staying at home watching Rick and Morty, enjoying my evening Gin and Tonic. Sleeping in a bed.  BATHING.    But NOOOOO.  We had to have adventure, goals, and suffering. I am doing my level best to keep Laurence of Arabia here from locking up and stroking out on the desert floor with water intake that wouldn’t sustain a gerbil.  Yet this is all MY fault.” ]

Yeah.  Hard to really argue with that……