Wayne's Adventure (In Motion)

CDT Southern Terminus, Crazy Cook Monument, Chihuahuan Desert.  May 1, 2024

“ I have made a terrible mistake.”  -Wayne, Day 1, Minute 1, CDT Hike

 There’s a moment (actually about half an hour)  as you watch the monster truck that dropped you into the middle of the roadless Chihuahuan Desert disappear over the curve of the Earth.  No trees, no water, no anything as far as the eye can see.   Just a marker which says you are against the Mexican border and points the way to Canada.  3,300 miles  that way.   Welcome to the Continental Divide Trail,  dumbass.  Better get walking before the heat kills you.

My driver is Bob.  Bob doesn’t talk.  Except for the occasional grunt as we slam around the lurching cab.  About two hours into the kidney shredding rollercoaster he asks my age.  I tell him I just turned 62.  He says his Dad is 62 as well.  When he asked what he would do if his dad wanted to hike out here, he says “I’d have his crazy ass locked up.”  That pretty much sums up our conversation.

As he pulls up to the Crazy Cook terminus (named after a cook in the 1800’s that killed his entire party with a hatchet because they criticized his cooking), Bob finally speaks:

“The average age of the idiots that hike this is 24.  They are in shape.  They are highly experienced.  They have light packs.  And they still die out here all the damn time.  Everything out here bites, scratches, poisons, blinds, burns, stings and crushes.  This entire place wants you dead.”  I tell Bob it reminds me of many Board of Director’s meetings.  Bob doesn’t laugh.

Bob hands me my tag.  CDT hiker 98.  God have mercy on my soul.  He climbs into the truck, gives me one last glance (so he can be sure to identify my body), fires up the truck, heads off into the blinding sun.

The heat is already killing me.  I sling on my pack and start waking to Canada.